


Wedding day

by chiriil



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anyways, M/M, most of the characters are minor characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-31 21:42:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6488599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chiriil/pseuds/chiriil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This has probably been done a million times already but oh well</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wedding day

Prompt- start with “they say seeing a turtle on your wedding day is good luck” and end with “now I'm doing 10-20 in federal prison. Stupid rabbit”

They say a turtle on your wedding day brings good luck. I suppose we had cheated a bit, but hey, we were going to see a turtle by the end of the wedding, close enough for me. We had planned an elaborate wedding, grand and extravagant by anyone’s standards. The main course for the dinner was going to be a roast boar and turtle soup, served in the shells. So, since they didn’t specify how we had to see the turtle, I figured it would be close enough. We’d planned on having the rabbit with it as a side, but since the breed we had wasn’t native to this area, we decided against it. At least, that’s what he thought. The only problem he had was the worrying thought of one of them getting loose and causing difficulties with the ecosystem here, but I didn’t see a problem with having it anyway and simply taking extra measures to make sure they didn’t go anywhere but the table. And, as an advantage, we’d have the pelts to keep as a reminder of the wedding day, since we’d caught all of them live a week or so ago. It was expensive to get a butcher that would be willing to help out with a wedding, especially in such a remote area, but with the money we have, they didn’t have a problem flying out here. 

I’d wanted to have the wedding on the island I grew up on, because of how beautiful it became each spring, and the open water surrounding it gave fresh air and a light breeze every so often. Everything had been set up a little walk away from the house, which, given its size, would serve as our venue after the ceremony. We had the altar set up closer to the shore, with a braid of vines and flowers marking the aisle. There were rows of chairs lined up on either side, each with a small bouquet of flowers resting on each one. We set up an extra row in case anyone else showed up, but we hadn’t invited too many people anyway. 30 or so people, which isn’t a lot for a wedding. Once in awhile, an animal would roam through, investigating our set up, and someone would have to chase it away. So far there hadn’t been any problems at all, and as far as I was concerned, that’s perfectly fine. 

Everyone still outside glanced up as a noisy plane flew overhead, and though there were no distinctions between it and any other plane that might happen to pass by, I knew it had to be the rest of our guests arriving. The island was so remote, any planes or ships going near it would either be flying much too high to hear or sailing too far away to tell it was a ship. I made sure everything was in its place and began making my way through the forest and back to our cabin. Walking through the tall grass in a wedding dress is kind of inconvenient, but with the time and effort it took to get the darn thing on, I wasn’t planning on taking it off until after everything had happened. Some people, ignoring the impracticality of walking through a forest in a wedding dress, might have commented on how I should be wearing a suit for my wedding, and be marrying someone of the opposite gender instead of the same. But none of those people were around, and someone had to walk down the aisle in a poofy dress, and that person was going to be me whether they liked it or not. I tugged on the green sash, trying to get it to stay put. While I was focused on keeping my dress clean and in place, I failed to notice someone walking towards me. It wasn’t until they had already passed me that I saw them.

“Nice dress, is he going to be wearing one too?”

“Wha- oh, no, he’ll be in a suit, and thank you.” I recognized her as soon as I turned around. Short blonde hair, a black headband keeping most of it out of her face. She was a bridesmaid at the wedding, wearing a short lavender dress with a mint sweater. She had linked arms with another guest, and it didn’t take much to guess who it was. Her dark emerald gown was a contrast to the other’s, but a deep lavender sash around her waist confirmed that they were here together. Her black hair was left down, but she had a scarf matching her dress draped over her head, concealing her more 'inhuman' attributes.

I found my way to the cabin in less time than I anticipated and worked my way through the maze of halls to what we had designated as the dressing rooms to see if he had finished getting ready. I slowly pushed open the door, in case someone else was in there too. Most of the guests had come dressed and ready, so I didn't have much to worry about. As I walked in, the only person there was already dressed in a black suit. Though his back was to me, I knew that the whole look was completed with an orange bow tie, which he was fiddling with and trying to get tied in a mirror on the facing wall. Though his eyes were obscured, his face changed from frustration to relief when he noticed me. 

"I thought we agreed on 'no shades during the wedding'?" I asked, leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. 

He sighed though it was with a smile and followed by a quiet chuckle. "And I thought we agreed on 'no shotguns or concealed weapons during the wedding'?"

"It's for protection! You didn't grow up here; you don't know how far some of these animals are willing to go for food." It's true, though. They get desperate after so much of the island lying dormant for months.

“How about we compromise. I don't wear the shades, and you don't carry your shotguns.” He countered. 

“Just one? Please?” It really wouldn't be fair to anyone if we put everyone's lives in danger over him wanting to be ‘careful around the guests’. Besides, I knew he couldn't say no if I played with his feelings a little bit. “Wouldn't it be a shame if someone were to be killed on our wedding day?” I walked forward, taking care not to trip over the long dress. I made my way in front of him and finished tying the tie, tugging it tight before stepping back, my hand still resting on his chest. “The guests are already here. They're probably ready to go by now.”

“One gun.” He held out his hand.

“Only if I get the shades.” I put out my hand as well.

“Fine.” He gave in and reached up to take off the legendary shades. He kept his head down, waiting a moment before looking back up. It was impossible to say no to such brilliantly colored eyes staring you down. I pulled up one side of my dress and slipped the shotgun out of its holster with practiced ease. We traded our prized possessions, and I chose to slide his onto a high shelf while he had his back turned to put the weapon away. 

“Ready?” He asked, and I was reminded of how little we both knew about weddings.  
“I'm no expert, but I'm fairly sure you're supposed to be out there before me.” I'd never been to a real wedding, but from what I'd seen in the limited collection of movies I grew up on, the one in the suit is always waiting for the other to walk down the aisle. 

“Do I look like the kind of guy who knows anything about weddings?” He asked, and I could tell he was sarcastic. He grew up kind of isolated too, so I didn't expect him to know much about weddings anyway. 

“Do I look like the kind of guy who knows anything about guns?” But if we were getting snarky about it, then I'd definitely be winning this argument. 

“Jesus, guys, can you hurry up? Or do you want to be late to your own wedding?” We both glanced over and saw another one of the guests, short black hair and in a baby blue dress, another bridesmaid. 

“We're coming, it's just that neither of us knows how the wedding is supposed to go.” Guess we should have, because it's our wedding, but what can you do?

“You never did a rehearsal?” She asked, seeming perplexed at the idea of not rehearsing what was supposed to be such a beautiful day in your life. The best days in one's life are always improvised at the last second. At least, that's how it is in my experience.

"We were, erm- busy, at the time..." I replied, fiddling with the sleeves of the dress though they were fine as they were. 

"Doing what?" She asked, still confused. 

There weren't any other words, but I looked over to my soon-to-be partner to find that the face he was making betrayed my silence. Her face began to turn red and the hurried out the door, shouting as she did so. 

"You're so gross! And hurry up, everyone's ready!"

"Guess it's time, then," I said, turning to face him. I offered my arm. "Shall we?"

"I thought you said I had to be there first?"

"But I can't leave you alone for that long, who knows what kind of trouble you'll get into without me..."

"Eh, it was already an unconventional wedding. How bad can it get?"

We talked together to the clearing with the altar and were greeted by the flower girl and ring bearer before anyone else saw us. 

"Are you guys finally ready?" She was dressed in olive green, with a dark sapphire blue sash tied around her waist, an oversized bow and long tail in the back. She held a white woven basket of flower petals in every color imaginable. 

"Everyone is prepared for the ceremony." He was dressed like most of the other guys in the wedding (those not wearing the white dress), a black suit with a blue bow tie, matching the flower girl's sash. He held the pillow with the rings resting on it, each one a rather plain silver band, but holding an emerald and orange diamond in each.   
As the flower girl began making her way down the aisle, the rest of us followed. The ring bearer followed close behind us, because of the no shades rule and him only having prescription lens shades he was left with only being able to see about four feet in front of him. 

As we approached the altar, I saw the officiant already standing there, dressed in a black suit identical to the others, with a cherry red tie. He looked down and didn't meet anyone's eyes before he spoke, knowing how creepy it was not to have any color to your eyes other than white. 

"Are we ready to begin?"

We both glanced at each other before nodding. 

"To all present I say: We are gathered here, not to witness the beginning of what will be, but rather what already is! We do not create this marriage, because we cannot. We can and do, however, celebrate with all of you the wondrous and joyful occurrence that has already taken place in their lives, and the commitment they make today." And he didn't have the book open yet. It seemed like he was the only one to practice anything. "No other human ties are more tender and no other vows more important than those you are about to take. Both of you come to this day with the profound realization that the contract of marriage is sacred, as are all of its obligations and responsibilities. You will leave here embracing one of the greatest human bonds that life has to offer. May your days together be many and rewarding." Everyone applauded, and by the time he was done speaking all the bridesmaids and such were in their places. Finally, he opened the book, though with how much he had memorized I doubted it was necessary. 

“Do you have your lines memorized?” He asked, quieter than last time.

We both nodded.

“With this hand I will lift your sorrows,” I began, taking his hand in mine. “Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way into darkness,” I lit the tall white candle with another, shorter one sitting beside it. “With this ring, I ask you to be mine.” Finally, I took his ring from the ringbearer and slid it onto his ring finger.

He repeated the vows and motions, though not needing to light the candle a second time. “With this hand, I will lift your sorrows,” As he took my hand in his, “Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way into darkness. With this ring,” He took my ring and offered it to me. “I ask you to be mine.”

We glanced over to the officiant, receiving a nod as permission to continue. Our eyes met again, and we spoke in unison.

“I do.” Right as we were about to kiss, someone started screaming. And everyone else decided to join in. Oh great.

A red and quite frightening looking rabbit leaped down the aisle, leaving bloody footprints leading back to the house. 

“For Christs’ sake.” I moved hastily though quick as I could, hiked up my dress, and swiped out a shotgun from the holster on my hip. Taking careful aim, I waited until no one was in the line of fire, and shot. It slowed down rather quickly after that, before slumping over in the grass.   
I slid the gun back into its holster and turned back to face my hopefully-still-soon-to-be husband.

“Does that even count as protection?” He asked, a bit sarcastically. 

Everyone was more than a bit startled by both the rabbit and the gunshot, and it took a moment for everyone to fully realize what had happened. Soon after another guest in a teal dress approached, followed by another in a suit and yellow tie.

“I just wanted to let you know that what you did was most likely illegal.” She said, pulling a very official and realistic looking police badge from her purse. “And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but when you do something illegal you generally have to go to prison.”

“How pray tell, does that count as illegal?” I asked. I was not about to be thrown in jail, and on my wedding day no less.

“You don’t have a permit for hunting here, at least to my knowledge, and from the looks of it, that rabbit was both an exotic breed and not native.”

“Well I’m still getting married,” I started, turning and walking back over to the altar. “Whether I’m going to jail or not.” I grabbed his arm, looked him dead in the eye, and finally got my kiss.

“But you still have to go to jail...” Her partner insisted.

“You can’t be serious.” My now-present-tense-husband said, both a statement and a question. 

“This was supposed to be our perfect day, and now I'm doing 10-20 in federal prison. Stupid rabbit.”


End file.
